LIFE HAPPENS WHILE YOU WAIT FOR SOMETHING BETTER
WILLIAM WALLACE IS QUOTED WITH THE SAYING “every man dies, not every man really lives” I ALWAYS PRIDED MYSELF ON MY TENANCITY. IT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS I LIKED BEST ABOUT MYSELF, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE I ALWAYS MADE THE BEST OF IT, DIDN’T LET IT SQUASH ME DOWN. IF I GOT PUT IN A CORNER AS A CHILD I WOULD FIND SOMETHING TO DO, TRACE THE WALLPAPER WITH MY FINGER, DAY DREAM THAT MY MOTHER WAS RUN OVER BY A BUS, NEVER GOT BORED. NOW AT NEARLY SIXTY I AM READY TO SAY WHEN, BUT, NO ONE IS LISTENING. MY DAUGHTER AND SON IN LAW MOVED IN SO THAT THEY CAN BUILD THEIR NEW HOUSE. I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY SAYING NO, YET BEFORE I KNEW IT, WE WERE TURNING OUR DOUBLE GARAGE COME GAMES ROOM AT THE BACK OF THE HOUSE INTO A GRANNY FLAT, WITH ONE BIG BEDROOM. THEY HAD TWO SMALL CHILDREN AT THE TIME, A THREE YEAR OLD AND A ONE YEAR OLD, AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOR ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS. HERE IT IS FIFTEEN MONTHS PLUS ANOTHER SON LATER, AND THE PAD FOR THE HOUSE IS MEANT TO BE LAYED ANY DAY NOW.
GOD PROMISES NOT TO GIVE US MORE THAT WE ARE ABLE TO BEAR, SO I MUST BE ABLE TO BEAR LOTS. IT’S A BIT LIKE THE OPENING OF A TALE OF TWO CITIES, “IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES”, BECAUSE LIFE IS LIKE THAT. THERE ARE ALWAYS SOME GOOD AND SOME BAD POINTS TO EVERYTHING WE DO. WHILE IT HAS BEEN A REAL JOY TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN LIVING WITH US, SEEING THEM EVERYDAY, THEIR CHEERY LITTLE HELLOS SHATTERING THE MORNING SILENCE AS THEY THUNDER INTO THE KITCHEN, THERE ARE REGULAR BOUTS OF DESPAIR THAT CAN OVERWHELM YOU AND THE ACCOMPANYING PANIC, THAT YOU AT NEARLY RETIREMENT AGE, NEVER HAVE A PEACEFUL MOMENT, OR VERY FEW IN ANY CASE, AND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE YOUR LIFE FOR EVER.
EVENTUALLY YOU HAVE A TALK TO YOURSELF, THE STUFF YOU PREACH TO OTHER PEOPLE SURFACES: THIS IS JUST A SEASON, THIS TWO WILL PASS, GOD WILL DEVELOP CHARACTER IN YOU THROUGH THIS, I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. I FINALLY DO GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SPEND A FEW MINUTES JUST SITTING WHILE I POUR OUT ALL MY TALES OF WOE TO GOD AND BEFORE I KNOW IT I FEEL PEACEFUL AND READY TO ATTACK THE NEXT DAY, WITH A NEW SENSE OF SURVIVAL AND A BETTER ATTITUDE.
I AM NOT TRYING TO BLAME MY ENGLISH ANCESTRY (YOU KNOW WHINGEING POM) BUT I DO SEE A PATTERN OF COMPLAINING AS I READ BACK OVER MY JOURNALS AND SCRIBBLES FROM EARLIER YEARS, SO I CANT REALLY BLAME OLD AGE OR SHOULD I SAY MIDDLE OLD AGE ON MY TIREDNESS, IT MAY JUST BE THAT I AM EXTREMELY LAZY OR JUST TRY TO DO TOO MUCH AND ALWAYS HAVE. I REMEMBER FEELING TIRED IN MY TWENTIES, THIRTIES, FORTIES AND FIFTYS SO WHEN I AM REALLY OLD I WILL STILL JUST THINK I AM TIRED FROM DOING TOO MUCH AND KEEL OVER DEAD … ANYWAY, I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHONY…..LIFE SEEMS TO BE BUSY FOR EVERYONE AND IT ISNT LIKELY TO CHANGE ANYTIME SOON, SO WE JUST NEED TO ENJOY EACH DAY AND MAKE THE MOST OF THOSE LITTLE SNIPPETS OF FUN IN AMONGST THE RUSHING, BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS THIS MOMENT IS YOUR LIFE, AND IT ISNT A REHEARSAL, THIS IS IT, SO DON’T WASTE A MOMENT.
