command presence

I really need to get that whole command presence thing going, you know the way people in authority are taught to walk, as if they have a stick stuck up their bottom, while at the same time scanning the rest of us as if we were just scrapped off the sole of their shoe.  I just cant seem act sensibly if I am packed to go anywhere at all.  Airports in particular bring out the Billy Connolly in me, as I get far too excited for my own good, and all of a sudden the Village Comedian in me takes over. Am I the only one that always beeps when I go through the scanner.  Oops! I forgot to take my mobile phone out of my pocket, beep beep!, oops! my shoes have metal in the arches, beep, beep!  Presumably, they interpret my giggling and loud friendly banter as a person who is definitely on something dodgy, or they need to frisk their quota for the day, and I look like a good sport.  Either way I always get a quick up and down with their little machine and get my bag checked for explosives or drugs.

Why are us noisy ones always picked on, I thought it was the quiet ones we were meant to watch!